Sometimes

After I graduated from college, I was talking to my Mom about drifting apart from a really dear friend. I remember being by the pool and staring off into the clouds wondering aloud, “I feel like we’ve sort of grown apart, and I don’t know what to do about it.” The distance between my friend and I felt really permanent.

My mom thoughtfully responded. Sometimes friendships go in seasons, she said. She was confident we’d find our way back to real connection again.

I didn’t really believe her, but (like parents often are) she was right. This friend and I are close again, reconnected almost 10 years later. This perspective has helped me much in motherhood: just because someone turns the page doesn’t mean they’re written out of the story.

In my kids’ earliest years, I’d often think—always right in the middle of breastfeeding or driving—of a friend or family member I hadn’t talked to in a while. Unable to text (safe handling, people!), these moments used to make me really sad. I’d feel guilty about not making the effort to be the best friend I’ve always wanted to be for every person ever (which is totally impossible, of course, but alas, anxiety).

I didn’t realize that when you become a mother, a lot of friendships shift. It doesn’t feel like it should, and we say it won’t, but it just does. Seasons change, and, sometimes, so do your closest friends. Sometimes these friends come back into your lives in a real way, and sometimes they don’t. In any case, God’s hand is present. There is a time for everything and every person in your life.

These verses in Ecclesiastes settle me. When an old friend or a distant family member comes to mind in the middle of chores now, I don’t panic about my inability to reach out right away (or beat myself up when I forget later). I use the moment to pray for their good, to thank God for the moments they were with me, and that we may see each other again soon. I believe God is watching both of us, and sometimes a quiet prayer reaches farther than my words ever could.

Emily

Have more time? Read all of Ecclesiastes 3 to refocus you on God’s big picture for your life.

P.S. If you’re reading this and feeling sad I haven’t texted you lately. Chances are really good I’ve been thinking of you often and praying for you instead. Hit reply and let’s catch up!!!