Tantrums

My middle child was a challenge at age three. Smart, beautiful, empathetic, and then—Lord—was she SPICEY. We needed help and I asked friends for book recs to advise us through this phase.

The first book was a lot of instructions. Woah, did I need to pick up my game, according to this author. Like any Enneagram 3 Achiever, I put myself on tasks. About a week into this “new me” I was exhausted and still pretty overwhelmed by my completely erratic toddler.

The second book opened with an anecdotal story about a dad at breakfast with his son, throwing a tantrum. When the boy’s pancakes he’d been begging for finally came to the table, the boy did the unexpected—he threw the pancakes, plate, syrup, and all on the floor. Well… dad then proceeded to have a reciprocal tantrum right there in the restaurant. In the book, the author describes his later embarrassment, admitting that he’d had a pretty stressful week at work, a poor night of sleep, and a high expectation for Saturday morning family breakfast.

Turns out, you can’t take care of children and summon the patience of The Holy Spirit when you aren’t taking care of yourself.

Folks, I put that book down and didn’t even finish it (that year). This author gave the answer I needed to hear in chapter one.

In an effort to spend more time “fixing” my parenting and my child, I had CTRL+ALT+deleted all my personal time. I’d drained myself of time with God and the things that boost my mental and physical health. No wonder things weren’t getting better. Here was my sign.

Easier said than done, friends. It took me months to rebalance. To make new habits breathing and praying with my kids. To say, “5 minutes, Mommy is reading her devotional” instead of “5 minutes, Mommy is folding the laundry.” To ask, “Should we go for a walk together or do yoga together?”

We all became healthier and closer to The Word together. As my undertones and reactions became more steady and reliable, so did my daughter’s.

Emily

Have more time? Read Psalm 16 here.

P.S. I did eventually finish the book and enjoyed it. It’s called Scream Free Parenting by Hal Edward Runkel. And he actually just updated it with a revised version (which I haven’t read) but let me know if you do!