When Hannah Saved Me

Hannah’s bible story used to really annoy me. It felt too distant. Too “back in the day.”

But then one afternoon in carline, I had an epiphany about Hannah and her story.

In Hannah’s world, society expected women to produce children. Hannah expected that of herself too (even though, actually, it’s clear her husband didn’t). Her inability to live up to these expectations wasn’t just personal—it was cultural, emotional and spiritual.

The pressure must have been crushing.

Waiting for those two pink lines were some of my loneliest months of my life and I am blessed with three healthy babes now! I don’t want to downplay the silent sadness and self-pressure of childbearing that does still exist. Nor do I want to insinuate that to pray for a baby is “old fashioned.” Rather, my epiphany took me 5 steps back; the bird’s eye view:

What societal expectations am I fighting? Which of these pressures did I put on myself?

At the time, too many things. Way too many things. Moms carry so much, literally and figuratively! The weight of this responsibility stole my peace just like, I imagine, Hannah’s responsibility to mother a son stole hers.

Hannah is remembered because she pushes past the boundaries to seek God. She goes into the temple (where she’s not really allowed) and she kneels to pray openly (which she’s not really supposed to do) and she honestly hands God her burdens (without a single animal sacrifice; remember, this is the Old Testament yall).

Hannah trusts God and He boldly answers by giving her Samuel. My prayers for peace from the pressure to “do it all” are ongoing, but God does show up every. single. time.

Let’s choose to be the kind of mom who surrenders the world’s (and our own irrational) expectations at God's feet. A mom who shows up honestly, prays boldly and listens kindly to our sisters in Christ. A Mom who trusts that even when things look barren, God is still moving mountains.

Emily

Have more time? Read Hannah’s story in 1 Samuel 1:3-19.